The Green Bay Packers invited me to buy some stock!I'm not the savviest investor out there but, let me think about it...
For my $250 "investment" and I get a beautiful piece of paper, an invitation to the annual shareholders meeting and, what...
Bragging Rights?
The stock won't appreciate, Packers don't pay a dividend and I can't sell it.
Hmmm...This "investment" has more holes in it than my CheeseHead Hat; it smells like aged Brick. They want to sell 250,000 shares ($62.5 Million Dollars!) to add some seats and a bigass TV in the south end zone!? Didn't we just pay for a bigass renovation? More accurately: Aren't we still "investing" in that one? = a .o5% Long Term "investment" every time we buy something in Brown County? Now they want a BIG Screen TV? What next?
ASIDE: I MUST warn you: The heat coming off that Big Bad Boy TV will make it much more tempting for us Packer Fans to take our shirts off during the colder games - it could get ugly out there! It could also melt our famous Frozen Tundra! OMG...what will Chris Berman say? What will we be known for besides cheese?
ANOTHER ASIDE: I should be able to see the Viewmongus, Million Dollar TV from my house on the fashionable, far Northeast Side! I wonder if some of the neighbors will be upset with all the ambient light during the night games? Some, who aren't fans (really?) might think it's The Northern Lights or something.
ANYWAY: I fear the green in Green Bay now means Money! With the latest money-grab, our beloved Green and Gold uniforms are tarnished: Green and Gold is Greed, not Good. Do the #OccupyWall Street people know about this? Where are the #Occupy Lombardi Avenue Cheeseheads? Greed Bay Packers is a scam...
...but it's a good scam. People who are serious investors and/or not Packer Fans won't understand, but $250 for nothing is NOT really nothing around here.
First of all, it's another good excuse to cook bratwurst, drink cold beer and buy relaxed-fitting Aaron Rogers merchandise in the Packer Pro Shop! (Yeah...that's what Green Bay Packer Shareholders do before every Shareholder Meeting.) BONUS: Shareholders meet in Summer so you don't have to pack Long Underwear and Tundra Gear Hats.
On the Tundra, a Green Bay Packer Stockholder is a big deal. It's as close to a Wall Street Big Shot as most of us will ever get! We're Number One, Baby; we're the One Percent!
Unknowingly, I've put good money for nothing in other investments over the years; some, I STILL haven't been able to recoup; some I can't sell! I've never been invited to a Shareholder Cookout before and, well...what the heck? What do I have to lose? (Besides, the Packers are the best team in the world right now and, we all want a piece of that action!)
FULL DISCLOSURE: The last time The Packers offered stock, I didn't bite. I involuntarily "elected" to "invest" in The Home Team Tax Scam instead. And, instead of a beautiful stock certificate, I cover my Man Cave walls with sales receipts from my many purchases in Brown County.
I DO, however, get to recoup a little of my investment when #85 scores a touchdown = PapaBurgers are only 85 CENTS at A&W Restaurants!
Go Pack GO!
...but it's a good scam. People who are serious investors and/or not Packer Fans won't understand, but $250 for nothing is NOT really nothing around here.
First of all, it's another good excuse to cook bratwurst, drink cold beer and buy relaxed-fitting Aaron Rogers merchandise in the Packer Pro Shop! (Yeah...that's what Green Bay Packer Shareholders do before every Shareholder Meeting.) BONUS: Shareholders meet in Summer so you don't have to pack Long Underwear and Tundra Gear Hats.
On the Tundra, a Green Bay Packer Stockholder is a big deal. It's as close to a Wall Street Big Shot as most of us will ever get! We're Number One, Baby; we're the One Percent!
Unknowingly, I've put good money for nothing in other investments over the years; some, I STILL haven't been able to recoup; some I can't sell! I've never been invited to a Shareholder Cookout before and, well...what the heck? What do I have to lose? (Besides, the Packers are the best team in the world right now and, we all want a piece of that action!)
FULL DISCLOSURE: The last time The Packers offered stock, I didn't bite. I involuntarily "elected" to "invest" in The Home Team Tax Scam instead. And, instead of a beautiful stock certificate, I cover my Man Cave walls with sales receipts from my many purchases in Brown County.
I DO, however, get to recoup a little of my investment when #85 scores a touchdown = PapaBurgers are only 85 CENTS at A&W Restaurants!
Go Pack GO!
2 comments:
So did you buy the stock or not?
The cobbler's kids don't wear shoes, Steve!
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